I love how God uses a variety of things to get my attention. At times, it's His creation (particularly the ocean, sunsets, and the amazing detail of his created), at other times it's His people who share their experience. I am amazed as He speaks to ME through Scripture (written years and years ago, but still living/applicable to me!!!!) and then He ordains and inspires music....played at the MOST APPROPRIATE moments. I love the music. It speaks to me like nothing else. It moves me. It makes me think. It often gives me a different--eternal-- perspective. It reminds me of His everlasting love. It encourages me in my faith journey..to not give up. It teaches me to look beyond the present circumstances and to look beyond myself. It proves to me that He's still in control.
This song by Sanctus Real is one of those songs that God is using to get my attention:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=06AgY5Xoavw
Just a few lines that HIT me every time I hear it:
"Whatever you're doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but somehow there's peace. It's hard to surrender to what I can't see, but I'm giving into Something Heavenly."
"Time to begin again, reevaluate who I really am. Am I doing everything to follow your will? Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills? SO show what it is that you want from me, I give everything, I surrender...to whatever you're doing...."
"Time to face up, clean this old house....time to release all my held back tears. Whatever your doing inside of me, it feels like chaos, but I believe: You're up to something bigger than me, larger than life, Something Heavenly."
I hope it's an encouragement to you today :)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Seasons
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Certainly, the difficult part is contentment/gratitude during each season in which God has placed us. And the truth is, as the 'seasons' change, God does not. He is the same, He is stable, He is true, He is the Rock. I am finding that focusing on these truths, even in the turmoil of all that is happening around me, that is what calms my heart and encourages my efforts.
Our family is currently experiencing many seasons....some are building our unity, at the same time 'tearing down' selfishness, ourselves as individuals. We think back to our seasons of rootedness and stability...but now...still...we're also experiencing the "uprooting" and transplanting necessary for new growth. Furthermore, I am still in a season of searching, as even yesterday I interviewed AGAIN, for a full time teaching position...but today I am required to "GIVE UP"...give up my control, my desires, my expectations, and submit to God's Sovereignity once again while I wait the decision. Yep, seasons are inevitable and even painful at times.
Mark has been working in Myrtle Beach for the last few weeks on a construction project. He has a few more weeks left, so we're trying to keep a routine here on the homefront, missing him...awaiting the time when we can return to life as a family. He is working hard on his studies in the "extra" moments he has. We have to keep reminding ourselves that this time is just "a season" and that God continues to be faithful to us as individuals and as a family while we are apart.
In the meantime, we've had the pleasure of having my parents in town this week. They arrived on Halloween to surprise John and Lizzie...both couldn't stop talking for the first few hours after their arrival. We enjoyed a fun and beautiful weekend...attending a festival, a soccer game, church, and even spending a warm NC November afternoon on the beach! Who would have thought??? We've also visited the Fort Fisher Aquarium and the Cape Fear Museum this week as the kids had Monday and Tuesday off from school. We've returned to routine today...and Mom and Dad will head north this weekend to return home.
We still covet your prayers. Our transition continues...I often find myself missing "home", our church, school, and you, our treasured friends. God is growing us through this season. He is teaching us to rely upon Him, particularly in the face of all this uncertainty. Still...we miss the relationships, the heart talks, and the sharing of life that we experienced with so many of you.
We hope that you will drop us an email to update us on the 'seasons' you are in...or give us a call...we'd love to hear your voice! BETTER yet, we hope you'll come to visit! Come experience the seasons here in North Carolina!
and a season for every activity under heaven:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Certainly, the difficult part is contentment/gratitude during each season in which God has placed us. And the truth is, as the 'seasons' change, God does not. He is the same, He is stable, He is true, He is the Rock. I am finding that focusing on these truths, even in the turmoil of all that is happening around me, that is what calms my heart and encourages my efforts.
Our family is currently experiencing many seasons....some are building our unity, at the same time 'tearing down' selfishness, ourselves as individuals. We think back to our seasons of rootedness and stability...but now...still...we're also experiencing the "uprooting" and transplanting necessary for new growth. Furthermore, I am still in a season of searching, as even yesterday I interviewed AGAIN, for a full time teaching position...but today I am required to "GIVE UP"...give up my control, my desires, my expectations, and submit to God's Sovereignity once again while I wait the decision. Yep, seasons are inevitable and even painful at times.
Mark has been working in Myrtle Beach for the last few weeks on a construction project. He has a few more weeks left, so we're trying to keep a routine here on the homefront, missing him...awaiting the time when we can return to life as a family. He is working hard on his studies in the "extra" moments he has. We have to keep reminding ourselves that this time is just "a season" and that God continues to be faithful to us as individuals and as a family while we are apart.
In the meantime, we've had the pleasure of having my parents in town this week. They arrived on Halloween to surprise John and Lizzie...both couldn't stop talking for the first few hours after their arrival. We enjoyed a fun and beautiful weekend...attending a festival, a soccer game, church, and even spending a warm NC November afternoon on the beach! Who would have thought??? We've also visited the Fort Fisher Aquarium and the Cape Fear Museum this week as the kids had Monday and Tuesday off from school. We've returned to routine today...and Mom and Dad will head north this weekend to return home.
We still covet your prayers. Our transition continues...I often find myself missing "home", our church, school, and you, our treasured friends. God is growing us through this season. He is teaching us to rely upon Him, particularly in the face of all this uncertainty. Still...we miss the relationships, the heart talks, and the sharing of life that we experienced with so many of you.
We hope that you will drop us an email to update us on the 'seasons' you are in...or give us a call...we'd love to hear your voice! BETTER yet, we hope you'll come to visit! Come experience the seasons here in North Carolina!
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
A New Normal
It's mid-October here in Wilmington, yet it feels like a summer day in New York. We've been enjoying temperatures in the 80s, cooler nights, and clear skies. We've been told repeatedly that this is the best time of year here in North Carolina, and we agree...at least so far. We do miss, however, the colorful foliage. It just doesn't "feel" like fall.
As we're agreeing with the weather, we are also agreeing with our "new normal." John and Lizzie are settled into school, having 8, 9 and 10 days (scale of 1-10) rather than the 2 and 3 days they had reported for a stretch a few weeks back. Lizzie climbed in the van at the beginning of the month excited to share her "10" day. She had been elected class president for October and was quite proud of the new "title". We asked if we should call her Queen Lizzie, she said no...just President Elizabeth :) John is enjoying his classes and often reports something interesting or fun he learned that day. He tried sushi last week as he was studying Japan in one of his classes.
My new normal consists of working at the kids school (Rachel Freeman) every morning. My technical title is "Reading Interventionist"...big words for Reading Helper. I meet with 4 small groups each day in an attempt to build their reading skills. I have 2 Kindergarten groups, 1 first, and 1 second...the hardest part so far has been learning their names: Silque (pronounced Silk), Kevanni, Kaziah, Amareyon, Amiracle, Khymek...we have entered a new culture. All in all, it's been a positive experience. My school day ends at 12:00 noon, so I have time to work on projects for Crosswinds and get all those errands done before our family time after school.
Mark continues to enjoy his part time work at the machine shop. We all leave at the same time every day and return home after school together. This allows time for homework, Mark's online classwork, and flexibility in family time activities. We realize that this concentrated family time is a short lived season and we are enjoying the flex time while we have it. Mark has finished his first 2 classes...both with A's, and will begin two more next week. In the near future, he will also help out cousin Mike Brown on some construction projects...just on a short term basis. Mike and Suz live just outside Myrtle Beach, just an hour south of us.
God's plans for Crosswinds Church are being revealed and taking form...they are anything BUT normal! We are excited about where God has led us this far, and are confident that HE is doing something BIG. Leland is the area of Wilmington we are "targeting"...it is growing, growing, growing and there really is no church in the immediate vicinity. We are praying fervently about location. Space is costly, but so critical for the long term vision....where does risk meet faith? In the meantime, our first community "encounter" will be November 1st. We'll be participating in one of the home associations' "fall festival". Please pray will us for creativity in outreach, confidence in building relationships, and faith to do what God is asking of us. Thanks to each of you who uphold our family and this church in your prayers.
Part of this journey is teaching us that we cannot and should not be striving for "normal". Yes, there is safety, predictability, and even comfort in "normal", but God is BIG. He wants to do BIG things...not just normal things. I think I've been struggling up til now trying to hold on to what used to be normal for us...our 'New York normal'. Quite honestly, I loved our 'New York normal'...our friends, our school, our jobs, our church, our family, our schedule, our home... we all loved our normal. Six months ago, God put our 'normal' in a blender and served us an adventure that would challenge us beyond our comfort, and would strip us of all that was predictable. Our challenge now? Living in faith every day, trusting in the Sovereignity of our Almighty God who knows us better than we know ourselves. Do we believe that HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS...and that He will do what He has promised?
As we're agreeing with the weather, we are also agreeing with our "new normal." John and Lizzie are settled into school, having 8, 9 and 10 days (scale of 1-10) rather than the 2 and 3 days they had reported for a stretch a few weeks back. Lizzie climbed in the van at the beginning of the month excited to share her "10" day. She had been elected class president for October and was quite proud of the new "title". We asked if we should call her Queen Lizzie, she said no...just President Elizabeth :) John is enjoying his classes and often reports something interesting or fun he learned that day. He tried sushi last week as he was studying Japan in one of his classes.
My new normal consists of working at the kids school (Rachel Freeman) every morning. My technical title is "Reading Interventionist"...big words for Reading Helper. I meet with 4 small groups each day in an attempt to build their reading skills. I have 2 Kindergarten groups, 1 first, and 1 second...the hardest part so far has been learning their names: Silque (pronounced Silk), Kevanni, Kaziah, Amareyon, Amiracle, Khymek...we have entered a new culture. All in all, it's been a positive experience. My school day ends at 12:00 noon, so I have time to work on projects for Crosswinds and get all those errands done before our family time after school.
Mark continues to enjoy his part time work at the machine shop. We all leave at the same time every day and return home after school together. This allows time for homework, Mark's online classwork, and flexibility in family time activities. We realize that this concentrated family time is a short lived season and we are enjoying the flex time while we have it. Mark has finished his first 2 classes...both with A's, and will begin two more next week. In the near future, he will also help out cousin Mike Brown on some construction projects...just on a short term basis. Mike and Suz live just outside Myrtle Beach, just an hour south of us.
God's plans for Crosswinds Church are being revealed and taking form...they are anything BUT normal! We are excited about where God has led us this far, and are confident that HE is doing something BIG. Leland is the area of Wilmington we are "targeting"...it is growing, growing, growing and there really is no church in the immediate vicinity. We are praying fervently about location. Space is costly, but so critical for the long term vision....where does risk meet faith? In the meantime, our first community "encounter" will be November 1st. We'll be participating in one of the home associations' "fall festival". Please pray will us for creativity in outreach, confidence in building relationships, and faith to do what God is asking of us. Thanks to each of you who uphold our family and this church in your prayers.
Part of this journey is teaching us that we cannot and should not be striving for "normal". Yes, there is safety, predictability, and even comfort in "normal", but God is BIG. He wants to do BIG things...not just normal things. I think I've been struggling up til now trying to hold on to what used to be normal for us...our 'New York normal'. Quite honestly, I loved our 'New York normal'...our friends, our school, our jobs, our church, our family, our schedule, our home... we all loved our normal. Six months ago, God put our 'normal' in a blender and served us an adventure that would challenge us beyond our comfort, and would strip us of all that was predictable. Our challenge now? Living in faith every day, trusting in the Sovereignity of our Almighty God who knows us better than we know ourselves. Do we believe that HE IS WHO HE SAYS HE IS...and that He will do what He has promised?
Psalm 40
I waited patiently for the LORD:
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD.
Blessed is the man who makes the LORD his trust,
who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods.
Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders you have done.
The things you planned for us no one can recount to you;
were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare...
Then I said, "Here I am , I have come--
it is written about me in the scroll.
I desire to do your will, O my God;
Your law is within my heart....
Friday, October 3, 2008
A job offer
His ways ARE higher than my ways...
So three weeks ago we met with the administration at Lizzie's school to discuss the options for challenging her in her schoolwork. Several days prior I had spent a day at their school with the "reading coach", Ms. Carlson, as I would be interviewing for the same position in another school here in the county. The reading coach interview did not go well (in my humble opinion), but was called back for a second interview. I just did not feel comfortable with the environment, job description, and expectations. Long story... I did not get the job.
At Lizzie's meeting I was asked about that interview and was able to honestly share my feelings with Ms Miars, the principal and Ms. Carlson, the reading coach. "Ironically", a position had come available at the kids school in the meantime, a Reading Interventionist position. It was part time, with 1/2 salary of a teacher, no benefits. Still I had an offer in the next county as an ESL teacher, full time with benefits, 30-40 minute drive each way. Dilemma: which job to accept?
Mark was clearly in favor of the part time position at the kids school. This 8am-12pm position would not disrupt our family routine at all, and the working conditions would comfortably transition me into the "system" here. So last week I did interview for the reading interventionist position and Wednesday, I received a call offering the position to me. I will begin next week.
Thank you for your prayers. These past fews months having been a humbling time of surrender for me as I realized how insignificant my "efforts" and how limited my "control". In many ways, I expected that the difficult part was behind us (choosing to move, leaving "home", giving up the comfortable/known), but I am learning that our struggles had only just begun.
God has been faithful...silent at times, but still faithful. Our needs have been met, our reliance upon Him has been strengthened, our plans have been sifted and refined....for our good. Our ideas/dreams/expectations fall pitifully short of God's perfect plan and often only focus on the outcome, not the process. Getting this job was the outcome, but who knew that I would be challenged SO completely in the process? My Jesus did. He knew it was what I needed. Yep, He knows me better than I know myself.
So three weeks ago we met with the administration at Lizzie's school to discuss the options for challenging her in her schoolwork. Several days prior I had spent a day at their school with the "reading coach", Ms. Carlson, as I would be interviewing for the same position in another school here in the county. The reading coach interview did not go well (in my humble opinion), but was called back for a second interview. I just did not feel comfortable with the environment, job description, and expectations. Long story... I did not get the job.
At Lizzie's meeting I was asked about that interview and was able to honestly share my feelings with Ms Miars, the principal and Ms. Carlson, the reading coach. "Ironically", a position had come available at the kids school in the meantime, a Reading Interventionist position. It was part time, with 1/2 salary of a teacher, no benefits. Still I had an offer in the next county as an ESL teacher, full time with benefits, 30-40 minute drive each way. Dilemma: which job to accept?
Mark was clearly in favor of the part time position at the kids school. This 8am-12pm position would not disrupt our family routine at all, and the working conditions would comfortably transition me into the "system" here. So last week I did interview for the reading interventionist position and Wednesday, I received a call offering the position to me. I will begin next week.
Thank you for your prayers. These past fews months having been a humbling time of surrender for me as I realized how insignificant my "efforts" and how limited my "control". In many ways, I expected that the difficult part was behind us (choosing to move, leaving "home", giving up the comfortable/known), but I am learning that our struggles had only just begun.
God has been faithful...silent at times, but still faithful. Our needs have been met, our reliance upon Him has been strengthened, our plans have been sifted and refined....for our good. Our ideas/dreams/expectations fall pitifully short of God's perfect plan and often only focus on the outcome, not the process. Getting this job was the outcome, but who knew that I would be challenged SO completely in the process? My Jesus did. He knew it was what I needed. Yep, He knows me better than I know myself.
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