Life here at the Pratt household has moved from a pleasant, managable pace to a very busy, overflowing pace in these last few weeks. Most of you know that we've been building up to "LAUNCH SUNDAY" for Crosswinds Church. Well, launch preparation has filled our thoughts and "to-do" list.... it is at it's peek! There are just 7 days--we are filled with emotion: excitement, joy, anticipation, relief, stress, surprise, fear, peace...a menagerie of feelings!
It's really been an interesting process for me, as God has been showing me so much about who I am. Ever notice that your "real" self surfaces during the pressure-times of life? I was just sharing with a friend how much my flaws are magnified in this whole "moving-church planting-job seeking" season. It really has been humbling for me to realize, again, how little of life is in my control. Several situations have proven this to me again:
- My job for the fall probably will be eliminated due to the lack of federal funding, so I am again searching and praying for the job that will fit our family. Yes, I need to send resumes and contact people and go to job fairs, but God has again confirmed in me that HE understands it all, has a plan, knows where I'll be...and that I just need to WAIT for it all to come together. HE's not the least bit worried that I'll have a job...hmmm...so why do I?
- Children's Ministry has been a fun journey as I've researched, read, dreamed, brainstormed, organized, and planned details. I love creating the plan and executing the details! On the other hand, children are the focus of children's ministry (hmmm...I knew this too :), no surprise here, just a reality check)....children are unpredictable, independent, messy, carefree,and interactive. They really don't care about the details :) So at times, I have found that the ideas/plans in my head have come to be affectionately termed "organized chaos". God is teaching me to let go of perfection. He is encouraging me to plan, but to enjoy the moment. He is showing me that organized chaos is okay. For this detail oriented, every-thing-in-its-place, plan ahead, kind of girl, well, it's been a struggle :)
- I am, daily, praying for friends whose lives are not what they had planned. I want to fix and make everything better. I want to rescue my friends from the hurt and disappointment. I want them to have better...NOW! I want to be back in New York where, at the very least, I can cry and pray with them. But again, God is showing me that HE knows, HE doesn't 'need' me, that deep faith is forged through pain and that this is a season of amazing growth in my friends' personal faith. The lessons He is teaching could not be taught in a different way. I continue to be encouraged by their amazing perserverance, reliance on God, and the way the body of Christ steps in at just the right moment. I am seeing "beauty from ashes" as only God can do.
- Our house search is on hold. Several factors have required this, but I am quickly realizing that it is best. What a blessing that we did not get the house we bid on back in November! Our new rental is such a answer to prayer...a great fit for us and still is able to give us freedom and flexibility. My "control" would have had us in our own home by now, but again I am learning to WAIT on him and the timing He has for us.
I could go on, but I think you get the idea. I could very easily get overwhelmed (and do at times) with the lack of control in my life right now. I am certain that God is teaching me these lessons now because our future will require it. I am so glad that God does not leave me where I am comfortable, but takes my hand and leads me into new territory where I am able to better hear, see, and know HIM! So for now, I am breathing. Consciously breathing. Deep breaths. Cleansing breaths. Peaceful breaths. I am breathing praise to my "Breath-Giver" for HIS control in my life. So....take a deep breath. Now, doesn't that feel good?
